30th November 2015

Last night protesters from two so-called ‘Dads’ Rights’ groups risked life and limb to draw attention to the shameful outcomes experienced by many fathers when they seek to remain a part of the lives of their children following divorce or separation.

Families Need Fathers is only too familiar with the deeply felt frustrations that drove these two men to undertake such a dangerous stunt.  Each year, FNF receives tens of thousands of pleas for support and guidance directed at our UK Helpline and our branches from parents (mostly fathers) and grandparents whose only sin was to seek to continue playing a meaningful role in the upbringing of their children after separation. Many are bewildered at how they have been squeezed out of their children's lives, generally having done nothing more than falling out of favour with the children's mother.  Such exclusion risks huge consequences for their children when they grow up.

Jerry Karlin, Chair of Families Need Fathers commented: "The UK cannot continue to ignore the elephant in the room – the widespread unfairness of outcomes for children who are deprived of their involvement with (usually) their fathers by a court system and infrastructure which inconsistently applies the law in so many cases.  Our system continues to sidestep the gathering of proper official statistics regarding cases and their outcomes.  Cases remain shrouded in secrecy and, according to the many calls we receive from the public, outcomes appear to vary greatly according to many odd factors such as which court or which CAFCASS agency are involved.  

Parents are often encouraged or feel obliged to find thousands of pounds for legal costs, only to be told when the money runs out that there is nothing else that can be done.  Money that they would wish to spend on their children.  So despite clear rules of procedure, it can take years and tens of thousands of pounds for an order to be granted by the court for the children to spend alternate weekends and some holiday time with their dad.

Even when one parent finally obtains a court order allowing them the ‘privilege’ of seeing their own children, an intractable other parent will all too often stubbornly ignore the order – in some cases even tearing up the order in front of the hated ex-partner outside the court. The court may then fail for a second time by not enforcing the order it’s made. The relatively few statistics we do have from the Ministry of Justice show that something like only 2.1% of applications for enforcement end in an order being made.  It’s time all parents were equally subject to the law of the land.

Meanwhile, men are taking their own lives in increasing numbers – in some cases because they cannot face feeling bullied out of their children or because they have been maliciously blamed for alleged crimes, often apparently without any evidence being produced.  This has to stop, for the sake of future generations.”

Of course we all wish that no one ever felt so hurt and unjustly treated as to turn to such dangerous stunts as climbing tall buildings or worse, but we have been pushing for over 40 years for change and although the situation has improved considerably, there is still much prejudice and bad practice to be eradicated from our system.  We hope the two climbers experience a positive outcome –especially one in which they are at last allowed to provide their children with the fathering they – and all our children – need and deserve.

ENDS

For comment, case studies or information please contact: media@fnf.org.uk.

Notes for editors:

Families Need Fathers - because both parents matter
FNF is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. FNF is NOT a fathers' rights group - we support the best interests of children - namely mature and collaborative parenting by both parents - an objective which is inadequately promoted in the family court system and associated services.

Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s meaningful relationship with both parents.

Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

What do you think?

Send us feedback!

Father's Day 2015

Father's Day is a time that can bring mixed emotions for many separated dads. Lots of things are happening at FNF around Father's day.  We've collected them here (along with some other Father's Day related news and resources).

Updated Families Need Fathers Charter for Father’s Day

June 2015 is being celebrated in Britain and around the world as the 800th anniversary of Magna Carta, the Great Charter of Liberties.

The FNF family (England, Wales and Scotland) has updated our own Charter ahead of Father’s Day to remind legislators and professionals involved in the administration of family law of the principles which underpin our charity.

• No child should be denied a full and loving relationship with both their parents unless it has been proven that such a relationship presents a risk to the child;
• The family justice system should promote collaboration and shared parenting between parents following separation;
• Family courts need to respond swiftly to breaches of Child Arrangement Orders, to ensure that relationships between children and the parent they do not live with day-to-day are not compromised;
• Information and support services should be easily accessible for separated parents throughout the different pathways of the family justice system;
• The important contribution of fathers, mothers, grandparents and the wider family should be promoted wherever possible, in both family policy and wider society.

Jerry Karlin, Chair of Families Need Fathers, said, “Our updated Charter details the key areas of improvement that we would like to see both within family law and wider society. This, we believe would greatly benefit separating families. The more detailed proposals set out within the Charter will provide the focus of our work. Looking forward, we will seek to achieve progress on these principles for both our members and for the thousands of families who rely on the support of the family justice system each year.”

The full details of the Charter, including specific details for each principle, can be downloaded here.

Father's Day Reflections

Over the past couple of years we have spoken to FNF members who have shared their thoughts about Father’s Day, and what it means to them as separated parents. 

Father’s Day can be one of the most difficult times of the year for separated dads and their families. With the big advertising campaigns focussed on families, it can be a particularly lonely time, one which other people might struggle to understand.

You are not alone.

The stories of our members in Father’s Day Reflections cover some very different situations, but all highlight the efforts that many separated parents make to try and ensure their children can still enjoy a relationship with them.

You can read our members’ stories Here.

Remember, if you ever need to speak to someone about your situation, you can access our support services.

Weekend Daddy Album Release

FNF supporter and musician Jack Ezra has released an album inspired by his experiences as a separated dad. The father of two from Bishop’s Stortford based many of the songs on the album on his difficult experiences of divorce and struggling to maintain a relationship with his children through a high conflict separation.

Jack Ezra, the musician behind Weekend Daddy, said, “I have wanted to produce this album for many years, but as anyone who has been through separation and struggled to see their children will know, it has only been recently that I have been able to put these overwhelming emotions and experiences into words. My experiences took me to some very dark places, and it was only with the support of my family and friends that I was able to make it through. Not every dad who struggles to see their children has that luxury, and with this music I wanted to let them know that they are not alone this Father’s Day. I hope that it will inspire any dads still struggling to maintain a relationship with their kids to keep going, and to let them know that support is out there.”

Weekend Daddy can be purchased online via iTunes. Jack Ezra is donating a portion of all sales to Families Need Fathers, to support the charities work in communities across the country. More information about Jack Ezra and his music can be found Here. 

Tips for Managing Father's Day

Like other family occasions during the year, Father’s Day can through up a lot of challenges. Be it logistics or conflict with the other parent, these events can be difficult to manage.

Resolution have produced a Short Guide for Separated Parents for separated parents to help them go more smoothly, and is worth a look if you are worried that there will be a lot of arguments.  Our own tips on Managing Handovers may also help. 

Fathers Reading Every Day

Children benefit hugely from their dad’s reading to them, boosting their educational achievement and well-being. It is also a great deal of fun, for kids and adults alike!

Research suggests that this is not happening enough though, with 1 in 3 dads reading to young children less than once a month.

The Fatherhood Institute is crowdfunding make their Fathers Reading Every Day (FRED) programme a reality in schools across the UK, and get more dads reading with their kids.

To find out more about the project and to donate, follow this link. 

Finally, if you're not yet a member of FNF please join in order to access the full range of our support services and to help us to support other parents to maintain a meaningful relationship with their children after separation. 

You can also donate to FNF if you would like to support us and help us to keep going in these very difficult times.

Best wishes to all the wonderful dads out there for Father's Day!

 

What do you think?

Send us feedback!

For immediate release: 20th November 2015

19th November 2015 saw a landmark debate in Parliament, campaigned for by the MP for Shipley, Philip Davies. For the first time a debate was held in Parliament for International Men's Day (IMD) mirroring the regularly held parliamentary debates on International Women's Day (IWD).

Jerry Karlin, Chair of Families Need Fathers commented: "MPs are traditionally elected to represent men and women regardless of their own gender and we expect them to focus on matters concerning all their constituents irrespective of gender. However both IMD and IWD are good opportunities for Parliament to focus on celebrating noteworthy achievements as well as highlighting notable failings in the gender arena. We note that the perfectly justified enthusiasm for eradicating gender inequalities shows a growing tradition of concentrating on factors affecting women only and not men, as regards their health and their position in the family, home, school and workplace. This increasingly is eclipsing consideration of the difficulties experienced by surprisingly large numbers of men in many areas such as suicide rates, divorce/separation and domestic violence, all areas where there is staggeringly less support for men than there is for women. We as a gender-neutral organisation congratulate Philip Davies MP and his parliamentary colleagues for standing up and highlighting - with statistics rather than hearsay - so many important inequities in modern Britain in such a balanced and fair manner."

We invite you to view the Parliament video below:

ENDS

For comment, case studies or information please contact: media@fnf.org.uk.

Notes for editors:

Families Need Fathers - because both parents matter
FNF is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. FNF is NOT a fathers' rights group - we support the best interests of children - namely mature and collaborative parenting by both parents - an objective which is insufficiently demonstrated in the family court system and associated services.

Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s meaningful relationship with both parents.

Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

What do you think?

Send us feedback!

For immediate release: 18th June 2015

Families Need Fathers Charter 2015

Charter updated for Father's Day outlines key principles the charity pursues for family law reform

June 2015 is being celebrated in Britain and around the world as the 800th anniversary of Magna Carta, the Great Charter of Liberties.

The FNF family (England, Wales and Scotland) has updated its Charter ahead of Father’s Day to remind legislators and professionals involved in the administration of family law of the principles which underpin our charity.

• No child should be denied a full and loving relationship with both their parents unless it has been proven that such a relationship presents a risk to the child;
• The family justice system should promote collaboration and shared parenting between parents following separation;
• Family courts need to respond swiftly to breaches of Child Arrangement Orders, to ensure that relationships between children and the parent they do not live with day-to-day are not compromised;
• Information and support services should be easily accessible for separated parents throughout the different pathways of the family justice system;
• The important contribution of fathers, mothers, grandparents and the wider family should be promoted wherever possible, in both family policy and wider society.

Jerry Karlin, Chair of Families Need Fathers, said, “Our updated Charter details the key areas of improvement that we would like to see both within family law and wider society. This, we believe would greatly benefit separating families. The more detailed proposals set out within the Charter will provide the focus of our work. Looking forward, we will seek to achieve progress on these principles for both our members and for the thousands of families who rely on the support of the family justice system each year.”

The full details of the Charter, including specific details for each principle outlined here, can be downloaded via http://www.fnf.org.uk/about-us-2/aims-and-objectives/families-need-fathers-charter.

ENDS 

For comment, case studies or information please contact:

England & Wales: Lewkowicz, media@fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 110

Scotland: Ian Maxwell, ian.maxwell@fnfscotland.org, 0131 557 2440

Note for editors:

Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. 

Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s relationship with both parents.

Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

What do you think?

Send us feedback!

For immediate release: 24th June 2015

It has been reported this afternoon that the father in the Rebecca Minnock case has decided not to pursue contempt of court proceedings. The judge made clear that he would likely have imposed a custodial sentence had the application for committal continued. 

Jerry Karlin, Chair of Families Need Fathers, commented, “It is to the father’s great credit that he has decided to put the interests of his child first in such a difficult situation. It is a wonderful example of how a parent can look to try and move beyond conflict to focus on their child’s welfare, even in very high conflict separations. 

The case does raise a common problem with committal proceedings though, as it places a parent in the unenviable position of deciding whether to pursue them. To do so can easily appear to a child as if they are trying to ‘punish’ the other parent, even where it may be one of the only ways to ensure an order is enforced. There is an argument to be made about whether the decision to pursue committal proceedings should rest with parents alone, or the court. Parliament may wish to legislate for other options, including community work, as alternatives to committal proceedings for contempt in line with measures introduced for the breaking of child arrangements orders.'

I hope that this case can now be progressed away from the public eye, with a focus on what is best for the child in the years ahead.”

ENDS 

For comment, case studies or information please contact: media@fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 110.

Note for editors:

Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status.  

Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s relationship with both parents. 

Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

What do you think?

Send us feedback!