The Bad - Jan 2023

Those people who bear grudges may think that not to do so is to ‘let off’ the person who they feel wronged them. Instead, bearing grudges belittles the lives of the person who does it. Better to move on and build positive experiences, if you can, after being robbed of plenty of years of seeing your children grow.

This case concerns a brief marriage (and a bitter divorce), which 15 years ago produced a son whose father made attempts to stay involved with.

The courts ruled that, because of the mother’s attitude, involvement from the father would be disruptive of what is otherwise a happy situation for the boy. To quote the judge:

‘I have considerable sympathy for the father’s position, in particular his anger that the mother has, in effect, been rewarded for her contempt for the court process at [redacted] expense...’

A recent accidental encounter resulted in a Non-Molestation Order being issued by the ex-wife against her 15 years ago ex-husband by a court in Wales (where we thought things were better). The mother cited as ‘evidence’ some of the allegations which were rebutted all that time ago, and which the father must now try to turn back.

It is almost inevitable that, when the young man is finally free of his mother’s influence, he will seek contact with his perfectly decent father. And this new incident will add to the boy’s adult judgement on his mother. Hopefully the grudge will not bear on him strongly.

I know of cases where the relationship with the mother has never recovered.

Pass me some Diazepam please.

What do you think?

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