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Domestic Violence and Child Welfare Workshop

Getting the Balance Right

One-Day workshop (09.00-17.00) Saturday 27 October 2018

Conference Room, Resource for London, 356 Holloway Road, London N7 6PA

Organised by the Central London Branch of Families Need Fathers

Violence between adults and especially by an adult on a child, is repugnant. It is, of course, contrary to a child’s best interest. It should be dealt with robustly. Victims deserve support and it is right that this has been increased over the years, albeit almost entirely focused on women victims with male victims largely left to fend for themselves. This has also led to negative stereotyping to create a presumption of guilt or a need to prove innocence within safeguarding regime assessments. Such assessments often lack balance or fairness, and rarely take into account the role of mental illness which are not confined to one gender.

Domestic violence and abuse is an issue outside this charity’s remit unless it affects the post-separation relationships of children. Such relationships should never be restricted unless it’s for relevant, proportionate and adequately evidenced reasons, especially when a good and mutually loving relationship is already in place.

However, in making it easier for women to address abuse and to have access to resources, such as Legal Aid and refuges unequally, there is an increased risk of interference with fair decisions, hindering the outcomes for children; especially due to a lack of appropriate checks and balances in the system. These changes have also provided incentives, in the emotive storms of family separation, for exaggeration or fabrication of allegations with highly destructive potential consequences. It has resulted in the system itself, which is intended to protect children, being used as an abusive weapon.

The purpose of this workshop is to question whether, given that the welfare of the children should be the paramount consideration, the balance is right, and to explore what might be done, in individual cases and in policy, to reduce family conflict and, above all, to improve the outcomes for children.

Speakers biographies can be found here:



The cost is £20, including morning and afternoon refreshments but not lunch. Booking via Eventbrite. It should be an interesting and helpful day. Click here to purchase a ticket.

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  • Over 80 per cent of respondents in a YouGov survey said the law should be reformed so that judges have a presumption in favour roughly equal time with each parent after divorce or separation, excluding cases where children were deemed at risk. The survey was commissioned by Families Need Fathers BPM Cymru and reported by The Times (sorry that the full article is behind a paywall). Equal care may not be practical to best meet a child's best interests in every case, but where all else is equal, the presumption of joint care is a desirable starting point. The results support what we have been saying for years and clearly it is what most people want. There is a big gap between that and the reality of people's experience when they seek arrangements for their children through family courts. Several Scandinavian countries now enjoy equal care as the most common arrangement with joint care (at least 35% of time) representing the vast majority of separated families. Please support us by sharing and liking our posts, following us, registering for free, making a donation or becoming a member.
  • New Advertising Standards Authority regulations came into force yesterday that prohibit harmful gender stereotypes in advertising. An examples offered includes 'An ad that depicts a man or a woman failing to achieve a task specifically because of their gender e.g. a man’s inability to change nappies; a woman’s inability to park a car' Another example is 'An ad that seeks to emphasise the contrast between a boy’s stereotypical personality (e.g. daring) with a girl’s stereotypical personality (e.g. caring) needs to be handled with care.' It is important in furthering the cause of shared parenting that advertising does not cause harm by promoting such stereotypes which infect the culture, including professionals in the field. To support our work, please share and like our posts, follow us, become a member, register for free or make a donation.
  • More flexibility for dads staying at home after the birth of children reduces maternal anti-anxiety medication by a quarter, reduces hospital visits by 14% and are 11% less likely to use antibiotics following childbirth. The research, by Stanford University, is just the latest evidence showing that Swedish policies in support of fatherhood benefit children, mothers and fathers. Last year, our Government rejected proposals by the Women and Equalities Select Committee for fathers to have a month of funded, non-transferable paternity leave. Please support our work by sharing and liking our posts, following us, registering for free, becoming a member or making a donation.
  • Some say Parental Alienation is a defence in court to cover-up domestic abuse. Others use domestic violence allegations to excuse their coercive and controlling behaviour or alienation. The facts must be investigated fast and firm action taken either way to discourage abuse of the system. In this case it was said that the mother exaggerated her husband's aggression to avoid responsibility for her actions. and, it appears that the jury agreed with that. It had also been reported that her husband had tried to limit his wife's drinking. Our thoughts are with the children. Please support FNF by sharing and liking our posts, following us, registering for free, making a donation or becoming a member.
  • The film Rocketman portrays Elton John's dad as cold and unloving. That may indeed be the case, but then again it may not. In painful family separations different perspectives and versions of the truth are not uncommon. And so it seems is the case with Elton whose half-brother, Geoff Dwight, has a very different perspective of their dad as someone with a big heart. Whatever Geoff's motives, it seems that he believes that the idea that their dad abandoned Elton was fostered by Sheila, Elton's mother after she went with another man. Whatever the truth, by not working together the scars run deep. Please support us by sharing and liking our posts, following us, registering for free, becoming a member or making a donation.
  • Positive news - World Health Organisation (WHO) have accepted Parental Alienation within its classification of health conditions. It does not come into effect until 1st January 2022, presumably to give nation states and researchers time to catch-up. It is an important marker that the effect on children of alienating behaviours is a major health problem that needs to be more widely recognised and addressed. Please support our work by sharing and liking our posts, following us, registering for free, making a donation and/or becoming a member.

FNF HSSF Kite Mark Award

Families Need Fathers has been awarded the Help and Support for Separated Families Kite Mark which is a new UK government accreditation scheme for organisations offering help to separated families.

Families Need Fathers work with a range of family law professionals, including Family Law Panel


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