2017 FNF Annual Conference

FNF Conference on the Future of Family Justice – Key Issues for Litigants

There are still some tickets left for the FNF 2017 Annual Conference in Bristol on Saturday 18th March 2017. Click here for a last chance to book your places!

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A moving tale, shared with us by Suzy Miller of www.startingovershow.com Tears are falling onto my fingers as I type. I hope they don’t drown my keyboard. She’s moving away. Just saying it again out loud brings on another bout of sobs. I don’t usually cry much over my children. But today is different. When she moved up the road - 10 mins by car without traffic - that was a relief. She needed her space with her boyfriend, and I was happy for her and for me. And that short distance became filled with joint trips to the gym and to Aldi - a regular pilgrimage. And distance did indeed make the heart grow fonder. But now she is moving to the West Country and it’s more than a day trip away. Which shouldn’t seem so far away. Yet I can’t stop crying whenever I think about how she will no longer be just ten minutes up the road. My glasses have steamed up, my nose is running, and it seems so silly. But I feel like the umbilical cord will suddenly be stretched so far that it will finally snap, flying back, smashing it’s entrails into my sodden face. You’d think by aged 20, that profound connection would be withered and weakened. But apparently not. A part of me is going with her, but it doesn’t want to leave it’s purchase in my heart. It’s clawing at me and trying very hard to stay in place, and doesn’t want to let go and fly with my little girl to new horizons. There is no logical explanation. We have phone and Skype and probably won’t always have much to say. It’s the proximity that is wailing for the boundaries to remain at 10 minutes away by car. And I can’t help but feel a deep compassion for those parents - usually the dads - who have to move away when the family splits. To have to be a drive away, an organise-your-time-to-be-able-to-see-them distance away. A wrenching of the heart away. I wonder if her dad felt the same suffering. I’m sure he did. I’m on my 7th tissue and my eyes will be swollen tomorrow no doubt. I’m glad it’s Sunday and I can stay hidden at home. And this is just part of the normal sway of life. I can get in the car and drive those 3 hours whenever I choose. I don’t have to ask the permission of another parent. I don’t have to stay within the boundaries of a court order. I’m lucky. Tears are falling onto my fingers as I type. I hope they don’t drown my keyboard.

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Have you ever wondered about this apparent and very worrying taboo? I have. Are we different in the UK? It's not just children - According to the Office of National Statistics (ONS), reported male victims of domestic violence at the hand of their partners make up more than a third of the total. Check out some stats in the chart http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/kids/why-arent-we-talking-about-abusive-mums/news-story/629b48b93abd22be2b63f1344c0c5de6

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Whilst we support the principle that both parents should contribute towards their children (in many different ways), the very polarised view that's so often in the media is about arrears in child maintenance apparently owed to mothers. This recurring theme rarely seems to consider the many dads who are driven into poverty and suffering by absurd assessments of what they should pay, despite having little or no money - and who are often also (to add insult to injury - or is it the other way round?) being denied access to their children at the very same time. Furthermore, some of these mothers also earn far more than their exes due to benefits, tax credits and/or salaries, and the assessments do not take any of this into account. This side of the story must be heard too - children deserve more! So here's a piece based on an article written by one of our Trustees which is also published by Marilyn Stowe, in response to a recent very one-sided Times article: https://fnf.org.uk/news-events-2/press-releases/150-press-releases-2017-archive And here is a link to the Stowe Blog - it's similar but you can add your comments too. Please do! http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2017/06/30/does-gingerbread-have-a-monopoly-on-the-argument/

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Very sad story... What is it that drives a parent to take the ultimate step to punish a dad or to exclude him from their child's life? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-wales-40443444/father-s-battle-over-death-review-after-ex-killed-their-son

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Yes! Magistrates take the law into their own hands on breached order contempt of court! https://www.judiciary.gov.uk/publications/committal-for-contempt-of-court-in-open-court-at-the-family-court-sitting-at-nottingham-allsop/

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Families Need Fathers updated their cover photo.

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FNF HSSF Kite Mark Award

Families Need Fathers has been awarded the Help and Support for Separated Families Kite Mark which is a new UK government accreditation scheme for organisations offering help to separated families.