FNF, JUMP and MATCH join forces for Parental Alienation Awareness Day – 25^th April 2008

 

^{• Families Need Fathers (FNF), Jewish Unity for Multiple Parenting (JUMP) and Mothers Apart from their Children (MATCH) survey finds that those involved in making crucial decisions related to children's welfare frequently fail to recognise Parental Alienation and loved and loving parents are being lost as a consequence.}

^{• FNF, JUMP and Match call for Judges, CAFCASS staff, social workers and others involved to acknowledge that Parental Alienation is a genuine phenomenon and to recognise the circumstances in which Parental Alienation often arises.}

 

^{"My older son went from love to hate with no apparent emotion in the middle. From telling me he loved me so much and hugging me to saying that he never wanted to see me again, in the space of one month".}

^{"The current law has failed my children…"}

^{These are just two of many shocking statements received as part of FNF, JUMP and MATCH research into the experiences of separated parents suffering as a result of Parental Alienation.}

^{These findings show that current arrangements for children whose parents are separated polarise the children between the one with whom they ‘live’ and the one with whom they are allowed limited and strictly defined contact. Many of our members, as Non-Resident Parents, have experienced their court-designated Contact Order being very easily disrupted or ignored when one parent is committed to honouring it and the other is committed to sabotaging it.}

^{FNF chair John Baker said, "The parent with greater power over their children (usually the Resident Parent) finds it relatively easy to exploit the conditions prevailing, at both pre- and post- separation times, when children's fragile and emotional vulnerability enables that parent to create an atmosphere in which children feel they cannot see the other parent without feeling they have somehow 'betrayed' their loyalty and primary commitment to the Resident Parent".}

^{Penny Cross, MATCH chair said, "Without acknowledging, as well-respected research has conclusively and decisively demonstrated, that this chronically negative condition called Parental Alienation exists, how can statutory and legal authorities fulfil their primary role to protect vulnerable children? How can they claim to act in our children’s best and highest interests when they fail to protect them from this insidious and subtle form of emotional abuse which can so rapidly extinguish the love a child had for a previously loved parent?"}

^{The full report is available on the FNF website at:}  

^{http://www.fnf.org.uk/publications-resources/research.}

^{Alternatively please contact the office on 0207 613 5060.}

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^{Note for editors: Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s relationship with both parents. Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.}

^{For comment or information please contact:}

^{Nick Barnard, Director of Communications 07979 206 384}

^{John Baker, FNF Chair 07881 644 917}

^{Jon Davies, FNF CEO 07976 935 986}

^{Becky Sibert, Policy & Information Officer 020 7613 5060}

 ^{Snapshot of findings from FNF Survey:}

^{Question: When after your relationship ended did you feel Parental Alienation started affecting the lives of your child(ren) and you?}

^{• 18% of respondents felt Parental Alienation affected the lives of their child(ren) and themselves 2 years or more after their relationship ended.}

^{• 18% of respondents felt Parental Alienation affected the lives of their child(ren) and themselves up to one year after their relationship ended.}

^{• 41% of respondents felt Parental Alienation affected the lives of the child(ren) and themselves immediately after their relationship ended.}

^{• 18% of respondents felt Parental Alienation affected the lives of the child(ren) and themselves before the relationship ended.}

 

 ^{Question: What contact, if any, do you have with your child(ren) now?}

^{• 59% of respondents do not have any contact with at least one of their children.}

^{• 18% of respondents have indirect contact only with at least one of their children.}

 

 ^{Question: Give an example of how Parental Alienation has affected your child(ren). (Sample of comments)}  

 ^{• "Refused to come for contact as she said was afraid of me, and that I could take her away and may beat her because I hit my son which was not true".}

^{• "My older son went from love to hate with no apparent emotion in the middle. From telling me he loved me so much and hugging me to saying that he never wanted to see me again, in the space of 1 month".}

^{• "She was not allowed to mention my name when she went to stay (with her father)".}

^{• "In a contact centre, my son suddenly became distressed and then repeatedly said "You took mummy to court, you are trying to put her in jail Mummy told me. You must stop Daddy". Thereafter he began refusing to see me in the contact centre".}

^{• "Husband would stand and say nothing as they verbally abused me. He never said they were wrong to talk to their mother like that".}

 

 ^{Question: How do you think current Family Law failed to protect your relationship with your children and their relationship with you as the non-resident parent? (Sample of comments)}

^{• "I cannot begin to describe how let down I feel. I am a professional woman who had de facto residence of my girls from the ages of 2 and 4. When my elder daughter was 14 she was deemed by the Courts to be of an age to decide where she wished to live".}

^{• "The current law has failed my children…"}

^{• "Everyone knows that the bottom line is Court Orders can be broken by Resident Parents".}

 

 ^{Question: What do you think needs to change with Family Law to prevent children suffering from Parental Alienation? (Sample of comments)}

^{• "Instead of using undefined ‘best interests’ principle with child's wishes and feelings, using a simple approximation rule where amount of contact is establishment based on the amount of care each parent used to provide prior to separation".}

^{• "PA needs to be recognised by the law and then procedures must be put in place to deal with it…"}

^{• "Counselling of both parents, information especially to alienating parent, to avoid the harm that can be done".}

^{Note for professionals}

^{Parental Alienation, the concept associated with Richard Gardner.1}

^{Parental Alienation refers to a situation in which a Resident Parent (usually but not exclusively) turns their child/children against the Non-Resident Parent, intentionally or unintentionally, resulting in the child’s supposed and stated desire to reject all contact with that latter parent.}

^{It is not, of course, Parental Alienation if the child does not want to see a parent who has been abusive or neglectful, or if the child does not want to see a parent who is not child centred.}

^{Some people prefer to use the term ‘emotional abuse’. It is useful to see the government’s definition of this:}

^{The definition of emotional abuse as contained in ‘Working Together to Safeguard Children’2 is:}

^{"Emotional abuse is the persistent emotional maltreatment of a child such as to cause severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional development. It may involve conveying to children that they are worthless or unloved, inadequate, or valued in so far as they meet the needs of another person. It may feature age or developmentally inappropriate expectations being imposed on children. These may include interactions that are beyond the child’s developmental capacity, as well as overprotection and limitation of exploration and learning, or preventing the child participating in normal social interaction. It may involve seeing or hearing the ill treatment of another. It may involve serious bullying causing children frequently to be frightened or in danger, or exploitation or corruption of children. Some level of emotional abuse is involved in all types of maltreatment of a child, though it may occur alone."}

References

^{1 Gardner, R.A (1992), The Parental Alienation Syndrome; A Guide for Mental Health and Legal Professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.}

^{2 Working Together to Safeguard Children: A guide to inter-agency working to safeguard and promote the welfare of children (http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/_files/AE53C8F9D7AEB1B23E403514A6C1B17D.pdf)}