Yesterday evening, Tony Thomas, the father of Adrian Thomas, the ringleader of the gang recently sentenced to 25 years for raping and murdering Mary-Ann Leneghan, came to the Central London meeting of Families Need Fathers.  So why would the father of an adult son, serving time for such a heinous crime, come to one of our support meetings?
 

He came to tell other fathers, ‘Never give up! Strive and do whatever it takes to overcome all the barriers that prevent you from being a father to your children.’ He said that Adrian's mother had been determined to obstruct him from having any involvement with his son and succeeded in denying Adrian the protective involvement of a father, something particularly important in the community he grew up in, where drugs and crime surrounded them.
 

He told how, when Adrian was 10 years old and first in trouble, he managed to speak to his son's head teacher but thereafter was always kept from 'interfering'.  Tony is adamant that, had he been allowed to be a father to his son, there is no way he would have let him get involved in Class A drugs and the gang scene.  Adrian had been turned against his father and thereby denied the guidance and protection of a loving parent and positive male role model. And Mary-Ann paid the price for this.
 

For Tony's close friend, Edward, who came with him to the meeting, the outcome has been very different.  Some 13 years ago, with FNF's help in East London, he fought through the courts to overcome the mother's obstruction and has ensured a good relationship with his children who are now older teenagers and doing well.
 

Both of these men, from differing personal experiences and outcomes, are adamant that children from 'broken homes', particularly those children who, because of the communities they live in, have daily temptations to go off the rails thrust in their face, need fathers in their lives.  This is not just true of working-class black kids.  It is something long established by a multitude of social research.  But still, the twenty or so other fathers in that FNF meeting were there because they too felt their children were being denied their involvement and care.  If these fathers don't overcome the obstacles in their way, we aren't suggesting that their children will become murderers ... but maybe the statistics of teenage pregnancies, self-harmers, drop-outs, suicides, academic failures, divorcees themselves ... all the negatives… would fall. 

Father involvement offers guidance and protection to both sons and daughters, and probably saves lives.

 

Read up on the case from:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4778704.stm

 

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Note
We have been informed that Tony Thomas has been in contact with the parents of Mary-Ann Leneghan and that they are aware of the initiatives he is now embarked upon.

Families Need Fathers(FNF) is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child’s relationship with both parents. Founded in 1975, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

 

Please see Families Need Fathers ‘programme for change’ Father’s Day Manifesto