Children for Cash

 

Families Need Fathers today expressed its outrage at the government’s continued one-sided view of parenting. This comes in the wake of John Hutton’s sensationalist remarks regarding the tagging of fathers evading CSA payments, and the continued refusal to truly understand the issues arising when parents separate. Yet last year the same government rejected tagging mothers who defied contact orders.

Financial support cannot in practice be separated from contact. The Government needs a coherent strategy on both. Heaping blame on fathers who are often on low incomes, under great emotional pressure and all too often being refused contact with their children is not providing the solution to ensuring that children have the support they need from both parents after separation. It is also obvious that where parents are jointly responsible for bringing up their children, and both roles are valued, contact and financial agreements are far more likely to be upheld.

Whilst the government continues to perpetuate the view of ‘absent’ fathers who are trying to shirk their responsibilities, it is not acknowledging the large amount of mothers not wishing to declare the existence of fathers and claiming benefits. They are demanding cash payments that are not processed through the CSA, as a proviso for a father seeing his child. There are thousands of relationships being negotiated on this fragile basis and purely at the behest of the mother – yet the CSA seems to have no knowledge of how the system is being abused and how it is failing fathers who wish to take their responsibilities seriously.

“Every day we speak to good fathers who are being denied the opportunity to provide the care and support their children need and wish to have, on the basis that the relationship with the mother is hostile or difficult. There are a raft of social problems that can be directly attributed to the absence of a loved father or parent within a child’s life. It’s time the government really tried to understand these implications on children and society as a whole, rather than merely seeing fathers as a necessary evil for ‘baby-making’, and who will only be stomached for the financial contribution they might make. We would never promote the idea of tagging mothers for what amounts to the abuse of family relationships and a child’s development, yet once again the government appears too scared of meeting these issues head-on,” stated FNF Chair John Baker. “We wish to see a department that really can claim to put the needs of children first, rather than simply looking for what they perceive to be the easy way out.”

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Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity providing information and support on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or marital status. Our primary concern is the maintenance of the child's relationship with both parents. Founded in 1974, FNF helps thousands of parents every year.

To follow are a number of recent case studies. These are direct transcripts of telephone calls received by FNF – but some details have been changed in order to protect the identity of those involved.

Case study 1

We received a call from a grandmother – the mother of a father separated from his former wife. The latter was in the process of remarrying and, as a result, was increasingly obstructing his contact to their nine year old son. However, she periodically accepts cash payments in exchange for the father being allowed to spend some time with his son.

On the increasingly rare occasions the father sees his son, the boy tells him that he often suffers a beating with the belt or otherwise by his stepfather. When he tells his mother, she just tells him to keep out of his way. He wants his father to help him.

The grandmother wants to know how she and her son can protect the child under the current circumstances, and what they can do to ensure that the child is allowed to continue to see his father for his own welfare.

Case study 2

A gentleman called who had recently become a father – the child is only one month old. His relationship with the mother did not continue, The father would like to play a full role in the child’s life, meaning that he would like parental involvement and would like to contribute towards the upkeep of their child. The mother states that if he wishes to see the child she will only accept cash payments from him as she does not want to jeopardise the amount of benefits she receives by not declaring him as the father. If he attempts to negotiate a formal arrangement, including contact, she tells him that she will do all she can to ensure that he does not see his child.

Case study 3

We were contacted by the female partner of a father who had become estranged from his former wife, and, as a result, his children. The mother had recently remarried, and, having pursued a process of alienating her children from their biological father, had now severed all contact and changed their name to that of her new husband. She stated that he was no longer desired in their lives. As the mother is claiming benefits, however, the CSA has come to him to recoup maintenance payments to offset the benefits being paid to her.

The biological father had sought to maintain contact with the children, and redress the actions of the mother, but was obstructed on a number of levels, including the children’s school which stated simply that the children were now registered under their new name, and that they would not communicate directly with him any longer. He feels the process of shutting him out of his children’s life is now complete.

The lady calling Families Need Fathers on his behalf was now also ending the relationship with him, as she is no longer able to deal with the emotional trauma of what he and she were being subjected to. They have a child together, and she wants to do all she can to ensure that their child has proper access to both parents after their separation as she recognises that he is a loving father. She was not sure, however, whether he could cope with any of these scenarios anymore and feared that he would give up on all levels.

 

Further case studies are available on request. 

 

Please see Families Need Fathers ‘programme for change’ Father’s Day Manifesto